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wooo..an update [Sunday
April 9th, 2006 at 9:15pm]
[ mood | sad ]

so..its been a really long ass time.
I'm 18 now.
got my nose pierced.
got into all the colleges I wanted Im trying to choose between PAFA/Penn and Pratt. dunno wut Im going to do.
I need a prom dress desperately. I found this beautiful one from Jovani. its tie dyed. and irridescent. but its waaay too expensive.
Work is soon. should be great getting all that cash.
Warped Tour and HfStival are going to be at Merriweather, so lots of money.
umm...everything is fine. yet I find myself quite depressed.
Morgan is fine and things are ok between us.

but I find myself crying almost everynight because I have lost my best friends. the "fab four" as my mom used to call us, is no more.
I was looking at all the pictures of us together last night and I just couldn't take it anymore. Things were so awesome between the four of us for the past 3 years, and there are so many amazing memories. My best friends were always there for me through my depression and through Justine's. Through Storch's boyfriend experience. We spent every homecoming together and prom. it was so much fun. I miss the way things were.

I suppose change is inevitable. But I've lost my best friends.
Hope everyone is well..cya.

3 | Fly

lets get this marmaduke naked. [Thursday
December 22nd, 2005 at 8:55pm]
[ mood | rejected ]

ok..so hey it's been a while and I finally have a moment to write in this thing..although it IS pretty much pointless. plus all im gunna do is complain..wut I'm best at.
sooo I have had a shit load of work. and Im tired all the time. portfolio day passed. PAFA lady loved my work..I dunno why. Pratt excepted my portfolio on the spot, Lyme offered me a half tuition scholarship..wierd huh? n umm..other cool stuff i guess.
Studio has always bothered me sometimes..but it's gotten to the point where it mnakes me depressed and miserable. Everyone is on edge with eachother all the time it's rediculous. I hate critiques even more. Some people are really disrespectful and cut me off and shit...and it really makes me feel bad. They treat me like I'm some moron. Yeahh I'm def. not the smartest person..but im not incompetent. And people are always talking shit about eachother behind their backs..and im no better I do it too. we all need to be supportive of eachother and less competetive n paranoid. I stopped going to critiques and just worked because whats the point of going if people treat me like shit? Then..they get even more mad coz I don't go. WHAT THE FUCK DO U PEOPLE WANT???!!!
so...I've thought about it and I'm gunna drop it as soon as I'm doing applying to colleges. it's soo not worth it. Sometimes it makes me cry. but I cant face Mr.G to tell him how I fell coz he's so oblivious to it. plus I feel like I'd be letting him down n stuff. And if I tell him why I wanna drop it I know hes gunna give a lecture on respect coz thats wut carver is all about..cept not at all anymore. and I don't wanna cause that and have other people pay for me being upset.
ummmm..yeah im too tired right now. I'll update more later on.
hope you guys all have a great break.

oh ps- im really sad coz some of my friends like..drop out of my life and then just hang out with eachother..and their boyfriends...?

1 | Fly

November 25th, 2005 at 8:35pm]
[ mood | eh..fuck off. ]

mmm..sry haven't had alot of time for this.
life is stressful..and it kinda sux.

I love when you plan a trip to Hamden with your friends..and then they don't tell you when and go without u....great friends huh.

2 | Fly

November 14th, 2005 at 8:51pm]
[ mood | grateful......DEAD ]

mmm... like my new layout? it's Kurt Halsey...he appeals to my really sappy side..the side that hopes one day I will fall in love and be together forever with my soul-mate. hahahahahaha. shut up. I actually never thought that was possible..for anyone to love me coz..I was unlovable? and depressed. I bother myself alot. I think if I were another person I wouldn't be friends with myself.

I watched the movie Hair today..I love that movie its so cute and sweet and about hippies dancing like fools..takes me back to last year.haha. :sigh: I wish my mom would take me to whole foods. that store makes me so happy.

ok. so I really hate studio. alot. I thought I would love it but it stresses me out and I hate the politics involved in everything and how everyone is competative and backstabbing...im guilty as well. it makes me really sad. I love Mr.G I really do..he has a lot of faith in me..but sometimes I just wanna stab him in the face.

I've been sick the past week and haven't gone to school..my italian teacher has decided that being sick is a crime and was a real bitch to me today. I wanted to slit his throat and watch the dust pour out. mmm..peace and love.

So. Morgan and I got into a really big fight Sat. night and we kinda left on bad terms and I left early around 6. I was really sad. and thought we were gunna break up. In fact..it came close coz we were both thinking bout it but I talked it over with my mommy and blah blah blah. it didn't happen and things are good now..I think. I just really wanna be able to hang out with him like when we were best friends. just chill watch tv. pillow/tickle fights. joke around n shit. party in his basement. be really hyper. now its like..we are trophies for eachother. just to parade around in public. we don't ever really have fun together. plus memories are bad. and I have a tendency to read things I shouldnt. I've come to the conclusion that Im slightly masachistic.
I hate homework. Prof can suck my giant cock. bitch.
so im gunna do this too..although I doubt anyone actually reads this thing anymore haha.

post a reply and i'll tell you 9 things that i like/admire/enjoy/respect about you.


17 | Fly

sooo...yeah im back. [Sunday
October 30th, 2005 at 12:16am]
[ mood | apathetic ]

Yeah. so I was thinking bout how I missed writing in this thing..sad I know..but w/e. fuck it.
getting ready for college sucks my ass. My teachers are bitches and expect way too much of me. Mr Miller has me doing waaay too many "side projects" but be chosen as the designer for the theatre playbills is pretty cool. at least someone has faith in me. I kinda miss last year. when I wasn't as gross and my friends hadn't pulled apart. and I didn't talk to ppl just coz I felt guitly. I don't like when ppl are your friends when they want something and wanna like "vent" to u. laaame. it makes me sad. oh well. yeah. i kinda wish..like I had my old body..well kinda..in someways. when I was heavier..I was healthier. i think. now im like anemic. and really self conscious of my gross boney ass face. blehhhhh. I've had a bad case of the uglies for a really long time.
But I do have a wonderful boo. my boii morgan. I still feel guilty over his last gf. and I still think she hates me. coz well yeahh...im lonely and stressed right now. bleh. ARTS sucksss too. too much work involved. no motivationnn. Morgan got me a huge cookie thing with a pumpkin on it. :) hee. its cute. its wierd how he picks me up and carrys me/spins me around and I don't like...crush him haha. but yes. mmmm i love my friends. I want storch to have my children. I park behind rachel everyday..but ive seen her twice this year. suxxxx.
ok. im done this really pointless entry.
peace out bitches.

oh yeah..i really miss cacie muther fucking hart. she fucks mothers.<3

1 | Fly

Last Entry..for a while at least. [Sunday
August 21st, 2005 at 1:27pm]
For reasons unknown to u all..this is my last entry..
Don't bother calling me I won't answer or return it.
I'm making a choice to be out of touch.

Farewell [Wednesday
June 29th, 2005 at 2:45pm]
Goodbye to all. I'll be back in a month. I'm off to France. Ill miss you.
I love you. Goodbye.
4 | Fly

I am not so pathetic afterall... [Sunday
May 22nd, 2005 at 11:06am]
[ mood | calm ]

So. the moment that appearently some of you have been waiting for, for over the past year and a half finally happend that last night.
Yep. I feel like a normal teenage girl now. wierd.

But please, no "I told you so's"

Um. yep. prom was fun by the way. um. i dont feel like typing im tired. Ill put more later.

7 | Fly

She said Im gunna use my teeth and my breasts..Im gunna make it happen. [Saturday
April 23rd, 2005 at 6:41pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Holy Hell..its been a reallly long time. It's not like I've been that busy either..well..maybe I have, I dunno. APs, fuck those bitches. Um..sheesh lots has been going on, like, going to Fells Point with the Rachel, um..going to the Denners like every weekend haha. Um..probably hit Towson n some concerts in between that too. Well, Jenny asked someone to prom and he said yes, but he can't go, which is ashame...but I'm still proud of her for asking.
So lately I've been in a badass mood lately, do I apologize for being a cunt to any of you. I've been really distant from my best girls and they are planning shit without me now..that makes me reallly sad..probably alot more than it should. I mean I do have other friends..but they are my 3 amigos..since freshman year! I miss them a helluva lot. :( I really hope the FOUR yes FOUR...THAT MEANS HAVERSON TOO can hang out soon. very soon..or someone will hafta die.

So..I got my haircut, people say they like it, but it looks shitty...its too short..like an inch past my shoulders EEK! but now its grown out..so prob 2 inches.
I also got glasses. Yep. I went blind..not really I just have a stigmatism.
People say I look emo. I say you all can suck my emo dick :) yep.

I hate randomly getting depressed..its so annoying. yep.
Last weekend I went over the Morgan fellows house on Fri. Tracy drove me..I love her for that. I was screwed if I couldnt get a ride there.
We went to the mall n visited Otis..who got us free food! whoop whoop.
Then we went to Hects n morgan jerome n I looked for prom dresses. Oh my jeebus was that funny as hell. First they were argueing over which color I should wear. Then Morgan picked out a pretty green one n told me to try it on..so I did..it was tight on the tits..of coarse. Then I came out and they were like.," arent u gunna try it on?" I said I did..n Morgan was said "How come we dont get to see it! we were ready to give u a standing ovation" Haha..wow..im glad I DIDNT show them. Such effeminate boys. Then we went back to the Denners n I used my soccer skillz(or lack there of) n juggled the ball around. Of coarse we went back in n watched TV..coz..i mean..we dont do anything else. yeah so we were cuddeling n such n then he tickled me! so we had a massive tickle war..yep. he knows where im reallly ticklish now..damn.
Haha PLUS..he had a ball of snot hanging out his nose haha..he got really embaressed so I PICKED YES BITCHES I PICKED HIS NOSE-thats love right there...hahaha. wow. Then he licked me..coz hes GROSS..thats the 2nd time..EW

So..whoop for new music..ive been listening to some new people lately..still a modest mouse addict..yep.
but I love echo n the bunnymen, Kevin Devine, Rocky Votolato(whom I saw in concert when he was chris Votolato) Bloc Party, Cursive, Piebald, BLOOD BROTHERS!!, um..i think thats it.


MODEST FUCKING MOUSE IS COMING TO DC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THURSDAY JUNE 16th!!!!!!!
I fell off my chair n died!
Morgan and I are going...indizzle..now we can both die coz our life goals are complete.( I know wut u are thinking..didnt I see them last yr at HFS? yes I did..but for less than 10 mins n they played everything from GOod News..which sucked haha)

oh yeah..prom is in a week..ew..i have a date..no dress..no shoes..no money.
oh well..coz..i gotta go..or some people will harass me.
yeah bitches.
alright im out.

Peace Bitches

3 | Fly

You came to see a rock show, a big gigantic COCK show.. [Sunday
March 13th, 2005 at 9:51pm]

ha..so it's been a while I suppose.
Yeah..um..im 17 now so happy birthday to me, eventhough it was March 1st. Um..didnt really do shit for it either, most people forgot..::shrugs:: oh well. But last fri. Morgan came over to celebrate..eventhough it was really pointless cuz it was like all of 3 hrs. n we spent most of it driving. But he got me a bubblegun, socks, a stuffed puppy, a glass sunflower, one of those really squishy pillows, and some candy, which he ended up eating haha. But it was a lovely bday present, he knows me all too well. Jenny also got me sunflower seeds and Lena got me incense and Kylie burned me the Flaming Lips n Dark Side of the Moon. Um..yeah the last sat. the girlies came over. aka(Rachel. Jen, Jig, n Heather) n went to go see Morgan n the flying eyes play at St. Johns. We also went to Ellicott City..n I got an earring? ha Rachel has the other one.Ummm..yeah so then my mom drove us to St. Johns n Mrs. Aggie gave me "sparkling poprocks" which was a total rip off cuz they soooo did not sparkle ha. Then uh..I kinda saw Morgan..but ran away..cuz im dumb..but everyone was dragging me to see him and I just didn't want to..so I was kinda in a shitty mood. When he came on I went to the back..coz im dumb.but then I moved all the way to the front and sat right in front of him so he could see me. Um..he also played Opposites Attract..which is my favorite song b/c its bootiful..plus its about me haha :) n jen said I turned as red as a tomato. Ha so I went with Frank-kay T Jerome n Morgan of coarse to Chinese..n puppy ordered an order of egg roll..which cracked me n Frankie up cuz we find basically everything amusing..but it was singular..so we were like a platter of eggroll please..ha shutup. Um..the Jerome did this German accent which made me crack up..but I was eating pop rocks at the same time...so they came out my nose..Frankie T renamed them snot rocks...thaaaanx. haha. Um the Flying Eyes came on n they were just absolutely utterly AWESOME.I was like holy shit I know all of em. haha. Got to chilll with Elias n Mac. which made me happy.
Um..then the girls went back to my house n spent the nizzle. haha we got slurpees Doritos and trashy magazines..why am I being such a girl lately? haha. It was fun..we watched Tank Girl..haha CLASSIC. "You have a booger hanging outa your left nostrile, I think you should pick it with THIS finger. haha great movie. Sun- I have no idea wut I did...
This week they picked MDS, and sadly I was not one of the chosen..made me feel really shitty at first but I talked to Mr. G n he gave me the low-down bout it..so it's ok. Umm..yeah this wk though has been so stressful, deaths, school, hospitals, night terrors. ::sigh:: but Im ok.
So Fri..I went to Towson with Jig..but she left me around 4ish..n my dad couldnt pick me up till 6ish, but I though I would be ok..cuz..Kylie was supposed to come up to Towson n then Jen was too. But ha neither of them showed..so I walked around by myself for 2 hrs n took pictures..I did get some cool ones, but Towson is just trashy now. Yesterday was of coarse spent at the Denners, ha wut else do I do lately? But this time Jen came with me..which was...fun? I dunno..I liked having Je n there..coz I love jen..but I dunno..ha it didnt feel the same..but I liked it. Then we went to Nicks..where there was a DEAD BEAR in the living room n Jen n I were like flipping out about it. haha.
Um..Jen had to leave at 6..I thought id be really bored..but actually I felt more like..a human? haha. talked to Courtney for a bit..shes so nice..n met this really cool girl Dani..she is sooo fucking nice, n she gave me a hug when she left. Um..yeah when they were practicing..morgan pushed me against the wall OUCH so I pinched his ass :P Um..after we ate pizza..I slept..I really did..I was so fookin tired that I slept right next to Morgans amp for like 10 mins..but I could feel the floor shaking..ha but then Courtney jumped on top of me n I was just like.." you...suck" n went back to sleep. Then we watched Orange County for a little while..haha funny movie. I never realized how really awesome puppy is at the guitar..until last night..but he really is..when he was just like soloing improv, i guess. but I was watching n was just like holy shizzle man. haha. Thennn we fianlly got back to the Denner residence at like 10:45 n we watched TV. but Morgan kept on changing the Channelll n he woulsnt stop so I took the remote..n then he sat on top of me to try n get it back..n TICKLED ME..so I was like OH HELL NO..n bit him..n tickled him..but then he beat me over the head with a pillow..n HIT MY NOSE WAHH *cries* But thats ok..then my mommy came for me at like 11:15 haha so we hugged goodbye..n talked..for like 5 mins..then hugged again for another 5 mins. I just wouldnt leave. I felt really dumb afterwards..but I just didnt wanna go. But he gave me an eskimo kiss..n made my nose all better.:) I dunno why ive been like so dependent on him lately..or why I miss him so much..I feel really stupid n like don't know wuts wrong with me. Oh yeah..some douche keeps on leaving annonymous comments on my journal bout Morgan..n well usually I delete them..but this time I left it. REVEAL YOURSELF O SHITFACED ONE..so I can come and CUT you..b/c you're a whore :) kool.
Um today..I slept n did HW..but tomarrow appearently im not going to school..cuz im going to the "vagina doctor" woop woop. hope im not pregnant..oh gee.
Anyways..before I leave..I think you all should know these bands that I've been listening lately..n you should get into them too:
Radiohead(even more so)
Ryan Adams
Smashing Pumpkins
Foo Fighters
PEACHES(haha I blame Sam)
the cramps
The Music
Minus the Bear
The Decemberists
Guided by Voices
Sparta..(coming to the recher..holy hell)
listen to emm
oh yeah..I got my haircut..n I have bangs..hahaha..yeah
peace muther fookas

5 | Fly

I got sore eyes and poor eyes and no eyes at all... [Monday
February 28th, 2005 at 10:26pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I cut off my dread.
Morgan wants to cut off all his..im not going to let him..cuz..I love his long hair..n its too much change for me :(
I want my dread back though.
Mr.G drives me crazy..im tired of his bullshit.

Mars Volta cd comes out tomarrow. im buying it..but it doesnt seem good..at all..

My weekend has been really boring..cept Sat. cuz I went to the Denners and well fun is just inferred when I spend time with my puppy :)Saw Constantine..pretty good..plot was fucked..but the story was really cool..haha.
went to Strapazzas..ate pizza..of coarse..do I eat anything else? no.
Went back..watched Snatch for a little bit..haha..we were acting like idiots..fighting n such..he SMACKED my foot. but we got bored n had a pillowfight..haha..the went downstairs n watched who's line hahah soo furking funny, were u the salesclerk that flashed me? Y yes.
N we cuddled..awww..kitty n puppy..it was so lervly..:) Cuz I felt so relaxed n safe. :) aww..look at the sad sappy suckerhaha.
But then I said it was my turn cuz I was wearing pants..haha so he layed on me..n I was rubbing his head..aww..I really am a kitty haha
well..yeah..Im dont..
oh yeah tonite is my last night being 16..

5 | Fly

nothing here to hold..nothing here to grab..the void where you used to be.... [Wednesday
February 23rd, 2005 at 5:59pm]
[ mood | just FUCKED up ]

yeah. SO.
I've been really fucked up through all this..it's really taking it's toll on me. Im not sad cuz they broke up..ha thats dumb..im sad..cuz well I miss my best friend..seems like hes been stolen. n other stuff..but im not gunna post it..wouldnt be nice. So..I stopped crying today they..but like..i dunno..morgan has been absent for the past like week or so..n like..i feel like shit..i had an aweful dream..so did he...wasnt bout me though..::shrugs::

Im kinda at a loss...cuzz..all this emotion between the two of them just makes me feel more and more like shit.
I reaaaaaaallly think they need to move ON...cuz its really getting annoying. Some things arent meant to be...n I dunno..its just really not fair...Im trying to be there for him I really am..but all this sappy bullshit..I miss you oh I miss you too between them is really well...getting on my nerves..it reaaally makes me feel like shit..cuz well number one I had something to do with it and number 2 cuz..well hes just been absent it seems..consoling her or something..n like..gah other stuff..but i wont post it either.

I love how I update only when im really annoyed, sad or happy. haha oh well..
cuz today..im pretty much indifferent..cept when I think..then I get annoyed or sad. w/e..its just bleh. Im goin over puppys sat...although to be honost..i kinda dont want to right now..meh....reasons...well...they are infered.
Justines party is this weekend..my birthday is in like 5 days..coolness..ha cept not at all.

Um..Mr. G is insaaaane..hes assigning us like a painting a week! HOW FUCKING NUTS IS HEE!!!! it would be understandable if it were fairly small..but these have to be as big as we can make um...JEEBUSSSSSSSSSSS

K. well thats enough..
jeebus brothers suckkk sometimes..oh well..still love em.
yeah k thanx byes.

1 | Fly

It's Snizzizzeling... [Monday
February 21st, 2005 at 12:07pm]
[ mood | Im really sorry.... ]

So...weekend...well...yeah..good n bad things.
Fri..was wonderfullll :) I came home and I SLEPT!! ah from 4-8 slept right threw guitar though..damn. Got up at 8 n ate some dinner..mm chicken. Then went to bed at 10 n didnt wake up till 12 the next day.

Sat. was a day to myself..I felt very girly. I took a reallly long shower and I did a face mask thingy n a hair mask thingy..n I shaved my legs..oh oh scandalous. Then me n Sami planned to go to Towson n eat at Rainforest Cafe. SO I put on MAKEUP woah! only I cant figure out how to get it off..oh well. Me n Sami were like really spaced out..n I was really paranoid..we took some funny picatures..but I dont really remember anything else haha. I got home and morgan called around 11...and well..I donno we talked some things over, I ended up crying coz Im a wuss n I can...but there was a misunderstanding that I got upset over..n yeah. So I didnt end up getting off the phone with him till like..2ish.wow..yeah.

Sun.- Got up round 10:30..umm..dont really remember wut I did..I read..ate probably..n Jen came over round 3 along with Allison. Then we picked up Rachel around 4ish to go hit Towson..AGAIN..we met up with Morgan n the band..and I tackled him :) I so win..he didnt even see it cominggg. We all walked around for a bit..and I found a balloon tied to a trash can..so being the cool person that I am..took it off..then me n puppy popped a hole in it..n started sucking the helium out..haha twas awesome. Went back into Barnes n Noble n jen took pictures of me being a treehugger...then all of us having finger sex. We also saw Mr. Brauer haha n talked to him for a bit..I told him to not get shot..i dunno..haha yeah..So..then we met up with Jeremy n FRANKIE T. haha..n walked to Ruby Tuesdays..I found MINT FLAVORED ECSTACY WUT?!..haha n I ate it..n Jeremy filmed the whooole thing..cuz then I spit it at Rachel n she flipped. During dinner Jeremy kept on making some *special* comments and we were smacking the hell outa eachother..the Denners are like family to me..I love it. After dinner me n Morgan went to the Commons..n I sat on his back n tried to crack it..haha then he did mine..n it cracked like a billion times so I let out this really loud groan haha...n everyone came over..n started laughing coz it looked like he was butt raping me..wut can I say..thats how us pimps n drug dealers roll :) So..we headed off the Recher..n the bands..I really liked..n OTOM came on so me rachel allison n jen pushed all the way to the front..n I was right in front of my puppy..n I threw my kitty at him that he gave me for good luck..haha..he kept looking at me every once n a while..so I made silly faces at him to calm him down n make him smile. N Courtney..haha she came over n like sang to me n I got some really awesome pictures of the band..specially of Courtney :) But after they played...it just went alll downhill from there..She was crying..I donno why..but I can guess...yeah..Um..I was pissed..coz I felt kinda blown off..coz yeah..but he called me later..n I wasnt pissed anymore..so we talked for a bit...made plans for today..n all was good. But then I got this messege on AIM for me to come back..yeah..they broke up..I dont really know wut to say..but everyones sad..:( So today Morgan n I cant hang out coz parents are bitches..but hes coming over Sat. So..I feel really depressed..coz..of this whole situation..n I donno..feels like theres just an empty hole inside me..I feel aweful..coz somehow..I had something to do with it...I wish I could make him happy :(

Today I think I shall sleep..I feel like poo...wait for Sat. so I know everyone is ok..n I can see Morgan's face n him smiling..n such..I cant believe IM crying over this..this is DUMBBBBBB...but I think I shall call him today n sing him lullabies like I did last night :)..yeah..I dunno..
Im watching Old School to try n laugh..its really funny..haha n sexual..my kinda movie. I wanna see my girls tomarrow..n I dunno..just cry..ok..Im done..yeah..
Take Care everyone.

2 | Fly

For most love comes for free [Sunday
February 13th, 2005 at 3:41pm]
[ mood | loved...but apprehensive.. ]

So.....I dont really know. This week has kinda sucked major ass...discluding the weekend by the way. I really hate rumors n shit..n how some people are just so...so....heartless. I dont like being bitter but this whole rituation has left me with such remorse. Oh and...I can hang out with whomever the hell I want thank you very much and he nor I do NOT need your permission k thanx.
Also..warn me to stay away from him or tell me that Im "cutting into your time" one MORE time and I will find you and cut you. I was here first..so go jump off a bridge.
Well that feels better...yes I know Im an angry person...but I think I have the right to be.

Anyways..so art has really been pissing me the fuck off...fucking maryland distiguished scholar! GAH! well...two of my pieces DID make it into the show..so uh yay. But Im seriously not gunna get picked for MDS..n that...depresses me..alot. Mrs. McDaniel did tell me to get my art together..but I have a feeling..for something else..i donno.

But my weekend has been incredible.
Fri. I went to Ellicott City with Blukin n Samipoo. Twas fun...I gotta stuffed kitty n a new skirt. woot woot. Then went to geetar..n learned No Woman No Cry..but my mom was really realllllly late picking me up so I was in the music store for 2 hrs. but I didnt mind :) then came home..n ate dinner..chinese bitches. Um..then I just kinda cried..cuz yeah..im a wuss..n somethings make me really frustrated.
So..sat..was wonderfulfantasicalterrific.
I went to the Denners...indeed. I went in slippers too..cuz I hurt my foot on Fri.
Um..so yes I came in I got surprised with a bouquet of tulips n a stuffed kitty shoved in my face. Gah but I didnt know that underneath the kitty was a box...of box of chocolates that is and the best card I think anyone has ever given to me. When I read it..I honostly didnt know wut to do or say..it left me speechless :) I almost wanted to cry..it was just..THAT wonderful..dont ask.
So..then Jeremy n his gf came home n we all watched The Best of Chris Farley..."you Colombian son of a Bitch..Ill kill you!" haha..classic.
Then Mrs. Aggie took the 4 of us out to dinner to Bertucci's mmm yummy pizza.."wut took you so long? Did u fall in? no..I uh..got lost." haha.
Then we went to AC Moore and I ran away from de puppy to buy him these prisma colors that he wanted but didnt ahve enough money. N I did..n surprised him..n got a BIG hug..yay n we went to the book store..n I got "lost" in the art section...
When we came back home..I taught him how to draw with the pens he baught..he did a very good job for his first time. :)
Then we went in his room to play. I CAN BAR CHORDS NOW! ha cha cha! n we played No Woman no Cry. n..did some stuff..? And then we went onto planning the partay. We got as far as the invite list n we arent even done with that well at least Im not..cuz there are some EDITS I would like to make. yes.
Um then it was time to leave..cuz my dads a BUTT..but i love em. So I took a picture of morgie n im gunna put it on myspace like I promised. So at the door I got a huuuge hug..n then he rubbed his nose all over my face..and then he did it on the other side...And then he tried to give me an eskimo kiss..but I hit my head on his hat n couldnt go any further haha..so yeah i went UNDER his hat and gave him eskimo kisses..yay.my fave.
In the car..I couldnt stop smiling..coz..that day was filled with my favorite things..Puppy..TOOLIPS..Chris Farely..pizza..n eskimo kisses...n PUPPY( most important) cuz he loves me zits n all..haha.

Now I shall leave you with the card that made me bust...coz.I can:

You are my best friend.

Sometimes we talk for hours.
Sometimes we don't even need words.

But always, always
we know each other's heart
..then a messege from my puppy..but I wont type that.

Jeebus that made me feel soooo good..I just wow. bursted!<33
yes ok so ill stop being a SAD SAPPY SUCKER..yes..

Feb. 20th bitches! OTOM show at the recher! Be there or BE....

DEAD. ya dig?

3 | Fly

ever wonder if its all for you? [Sunday
February 6th, 2005 at 3:02am]
[ mood | GAH...ppl suck.. ]

Yeah...so umm right.
Well I dunno...Fri. was nice. Me n the chicas(storch,rachel, n mal) went to the el Mall...n then up to 10 car. Um..I got a bow tie..I look like pointer dexter..but with tits. Its Hot. Then we went to Coffee house..n Morgan n company showed up kinda late...so I stayed with them n missed the first half of the show..IM SRY JIG! I LOVER U! umm..it was fun..even though there was no eskimo kisses..wait no i got one from Storch. So then the kiddies went on n morgie goes up to the mic n says "Cait stewart is gunna introduce us" gah..I was like WUT..so I did..n was just like yeah these are Perry Hall kids n uh Carver kids scare em. yeah..Dave n Joe did their skit..it was funny..Then we went to the diner. My n puppy had a french frie fight..meep..those bitches hurt.
Then he was rubbing his foot all up n down my thigh n I was like flippin out coz it was ewwwwww. N i stole his shoe. fun night.
But im afraid all the fun was over when I got home n got online.

I get really sad when ppl right smack bout me n wut a shitty person I am on the internet...yeah.

So..today i woke up n went to the emergency room....? yeah I like thought I was dying from back pain..odd.
tonite...talked to puppy till like 1:30...uffa
well we had a lot of shit to work out.

N yes...You are inFUCKINGdeed still my puppy..always n forever.
um so march 1st is officially i really kickass day..anyone know y?

yeah fuckers its my bday..but also the new mars Volta cd is coming out..although ive heard a song..n it sounded....kinda....EMO?! NOOOOOOOOO

yeah anyways..i guess im done..
meep...Im kinda upset..but..theres nothing I can really do...it wasnt my fault..


By the way... [Tuesday
February 1st, 2005 at 8:07pm]
I called up Lyme today......

I said no....

Im staying right here.

Puppy told me to update...so I am...umm...yeah...thats pretty much it..oh yeah..I found my cat too! yay! mittens didnt die! umm...hmm..I dunno...things are alright...I guess Im just tired..COffee House Friday..yay Moo Courtney n Nick are coming..um yay yay. n then hanging with Blukin after school..double yay.
ok..thats it...
ps- eskimo kisses are my favorite thing..:)
2 | Fly

sometimes puppys bite.. [Thursday
January 27th, 2005 at 1:19am]
[ mood | nothing ]

less than 2 wks.


1 | Fly

Garsh... [Sunday
January 23rd, 2005 at 11:12pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Um..wow..I hate Mr. G right now
Im so not motivated to paint or draw or doing anything art related and I blame him. He tells me I dont push myself enough...well im exhausted.Youll never amount to anything if you dont try harder.
Ya know wut shove it.
I didnt get chosen for scholastics...which kinda frustrates me..cuz I really liked my piece and the pieces that they chose..were..WACK. ha no. But im kinda tired of working so hard and not getting any regonition.
Um yesterday I went with Linde n Blair sledding twas muchas fun. Ha we tackled eachother and I ended up in a very questionable position with my legs over my head and completly wiiide open.
Today I went over my puppys house n had a blast like always :)
We went sleddin n him n Jeremy wanted me to form a train with them..but they always smack into eachother, so I pushed em down..hehe
But then they got me back n pushed me down the hill n I got snow down my shirt...:(
Then we went insiiiiide n watched the FLY..GAH!! disgustiiiiiiing
I had no one to hold my hand our cuddle with..haha b/c im pathetic...but it was grosss..:( they killed the baboon
Then we ate dinner n I felt bad cuz I wasnt hungry n they kept offering me food.
Then we went downstairs n just kinda chilled...
and by chilled I mean had a pillow fight and wrestled bleh puppy put me in a head lock and tickled me so I bit him :)aand im getting better at pillow fighting infuckingdeed. He also punched me in the boob...TWICE! grrrr
Um..I was putting myself into all these wierd positions while puppy played geetar...n I found out I can do the bridge..then I showed him my doublejointed toes. I can put my legs over my head and said " if I were a man, I could totally suck my own cock." haha im a loser. We took some picatures too...n they are prettyful:D Um...wow..yeah I spent nine hrs with the Denners..haha..I think thats a record..lol they must be sick of me.lol
my art show is tuesday..so be there or be DEAD bitches
Kittys love their puppys infuckingdeed..MUAH!

2 | Fly

I got 1 2 3 4 5 6 sick SICK.... [Monday
January 10th, 2005 at 3:41am]
[ mood | *cough cough* ]

Im really SICK of teenage drama. How people think its the end of their lives if their girlfriend or boyfriend breaks up with them, or they get embaressed in front of their peers..NEWFLASH: LIFE GOES ON! Im sick SICK SICK of how teenage life is portrayed in movies, how its all about dating and then everything is fantastic for all the "good" characters by the end of the film...OH HAPPY DAY...maybe some people's lives are like this,no, I know some people's lives are like this...it's all about the current girl or boyfriend...and its oh so tragic when its over. But then in the end everything is all wrapped up nice and tight b/c they have found a new "love". Over the past week I have lost my adopted brother, my cousin, my cousin's wife, and my best friend, to the tsunami, paralysis, suicide, and a girlfriend. They all equally feel like shit. Dating is not the most important thing in our lives...so get the fuck over it.

I have the flu now and have never felt so alone in a very long time...
thank you and goodnight
Im also coughing up a lung

3 | Fly

We were just a bunch of bald head-kabobs with rabbit skin tied around our dings and WE LIKE IT! [Sunday
January 2nd, 2005 at 2:13pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

Well....it's been awhile, and I am pleased to say that this year had been better than the last...although...I suppose anything would have been. My grades are better...my social sux though..but I think I'm happier. Um lets see...vacation time...afterschool thurs. I went to Morgie's house and we chilled..sorta. We watched enternal sunshine on the spotless mind, or at least tried to. I kept making chicken noises in his ear..yeah, I dunno. Um..then Jen n Sami came over Mon. and we went to Towson and met up with Mac n I saw Cacie Sunshine and gave her my present haha. Umm...the next days were kinda a blur, because something umm..bad took places, but I think I handled it ok, I didn't do anything to myself so thats good too.
Then for New years eve I went to Morgie's house again...although I somewhat wish I had stayed home, you see I was very upset that night bout recent events, and was very anti-social.
Then yesterday the Morganpoo came over my house and we chilled. Um...we took my dog for a walk and then went to the video store and got the Thing and The Fly....The thing was scary as shit!! and I had no one to hold my hand :(
Today..I am doing nothing..possbily painting.

Somethings came to an end over break and I'm a little sad, but otherwise ok.

and other things...I dunno if they are ok...I thought they were going great...but recently I have been having conflicting thoughts....
Mogwai is reaaalllly starting to grow on me....hahahahaha


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